Whats that lump? I ask.

On the 15 of March I had my appointment with the consultant at Kingston hospital. By now I was seeing small streaks of blood on my poo. Your mother had cancer in her bowel he asked. What age was she when she died? Fifty four, I said my 54^th birthday was in 6 days time. The consultant examined me and decided I should have a colonoscopy. This was set for Saturday the 26th of March.

By the time I was due for the colonoscopy I knew something was wrong, there were streaks of blood in my poo on most days and the stool had become very small and a smelllike you would find in an old drain. I was hoping it was something like chrons disease, but deep down I thought the most likely cause was cancer.

I had a colonoscopy in 1998 and I was sedated throughout, I remember waking up being told everything was fine, this time I would be conscious throughout. I had not eaten any solids for 24 hours and had to take laxatives to clear my bowel for the procedure.

The prope enters my rectum and we are watching the pictures on the screen, the walls of the rectum are smooth and pinkish, then I see what looked like a whitish lump with blood oozing from a few places, it looked about the size of a walnut. I turned to the doctor and said whats that, his eys drifted to the ceiling and he says he did not know. We will have to biopsy it. I said you are a doctor, you have seen these before what does it look like to you. “It does not look good” he said. I thanked him.

I was taken back to the cubicle to get dressed, the nurse came in and told me I would be having an MRI and CT scan within the next week and they would let me know as soon as they found slots for me. I called Janette, she could pick me up now, how was it she asked not good I said, there is a a lump and it does not look good I told her.

I was philosophical as I headed home, I had had a fantastic life achieved more things than I had ever dreamed of and if this was how it was to end so be it. That calmness ended as soon as I entered the house and I was overcome with fear.

If you have concerns about bowel cancer have a colonoscopy. See the procedure on u tube and removal of a polyp when caught at the earliest stage http://youtu.be/ImtlBemZsRw

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